But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
