i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
