I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize