so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
