hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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