i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
