Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
wakey wakey hands off snakey
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
