Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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