you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's blow job season.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize