We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
