Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
