if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
