She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
