i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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