I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she peed on how many people?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
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I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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