Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
