The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
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He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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