Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
