**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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