I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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