I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
