hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize