I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
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We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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