i wish there were pregnant emoticons
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
