I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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