Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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