It's Friday. Sex?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
