party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize