I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
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my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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