well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
