What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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