I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
