dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
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Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
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The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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