Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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