you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
