whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
