Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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