She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
