I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
