Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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