So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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