That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
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i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
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Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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