Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
