I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize