Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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