farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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