i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
