weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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