She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
