Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
