I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
