I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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