Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize