Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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