duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
