the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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