I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
