just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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