I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
